早安！

最近在看一套本身觉得很好看的台湾片。

很多很感动的画面。

也是激发我思想空间的一套戏。

其中我很喜欢的一幕是当男主角病时，女主角照顾他。那是很强烈的感觉就是，一个人若生病，没人照顾感觉很惨。若有一位可细心地照顾你，有他你也不必操心的人照顾你，那是多么幸福啊！那个时候，当然女的，也常常在男主角身边看他睡觉的样子。

有时候，觉得自己很喜欢观察，观看人家睡觉。觉得那时是那个人最真，最放松的时刻。观察一个人睡觉时，也是可以用比较长的时间看那个人。喜欢早上起身就跑到房间看人睡觉的样子。观察他，从眼睛，鼻子，嘴巴，皮肤，脸，他呼吸的样子，睡觉的样子。喜欢早上的拥抱。因为早上的拥抱是有他最贴身，最有温度的拥抱。那温温的感觉，感觉好像被抱入一个温暖窝里。那刚睡醒的样子仿佛刚送走昨天，开眼睛欢迎你的早上！我也喜欢观察他睡觉。因为当他一开眼睛，我是他所见到的第一个人耶！所以，我就会给予一个morning kiss 附加：早安宝贝！，来迎接他新的一天。 不知道他的感觉怎样？但是我觉得感觉很不错啦！

觉得若是我结婚后的日子，我亲爱的不时会在早上给我惊喜，我就会很开心，很满足啦！不论是一个morning kiss，还是为我预备早餐，或是在早上时送我生日礼物，圣诞节礼物，哇～感觉好好哦！

思念

在这一刻，对你有很深的思念。那种很想马上见到你，但是又想享受这种对你思念的感觉。心情很复杂。今天，是我们在一起第二年的第50天啦！在一起的日子，说长不长，说短也不短。

此刻，很想和你有我们的小天地。那个时候会是几时呢？想起你说过的1000天承诺；若是真的，那这承诺很快就会实现了！哈哈，但是知道你有你自己的计划。为将来，为我们的将来的计划，努力和付出。明年，我就毕业了！多想快快地毕业。。虽然那个时候我不再有很多的空闲时间，但是至少是可以充实自己，为自己的梦想和将来计划打算。你也要加油哦！

想你。。。

拼回一个我

这几天，我实在无法好好地睡觉。

感觉很折磨。原来无法好睡真的很折磨。我很感恩一直以来上帝给我可以好好睡，睡久久，睡得很熟的每一个晚上。现在的每一天，我真的好怕要入眠的那一刻。想起那睡不着，没有安全感，紧张的感觉，实在是太恐怖了。那些感觉是我从来没有的。。开始回想我自己最近的生活。感觉只是一塌糊涂。最近，我知道我走错路。走到一个不应该走的路。对自己的决定彻底的失望和伤心。想了很多，最近的我已经不再像以前开朗，无忧无虑，有信心，对未来有无数的梦想，品格良好，坚持，等。我。。。已经不存在了。

心里很挣扎，很辛苦。。只想再次把我生命的碎片交给上帝，再次的拼回一个我。拼回一个有裂痕的我，总比洒在地上的碎片美吧！当然，这需要我最近的你，家人来帮助我。我想，要有一个美丽的我，也需要一个支持我的你。

沉淀

今天早上和你讲完电话以后，我选择来回看了你的部落格, 我的部落格。依稀记得，我已经很久没这么地沉淀自己了。。。沉淀的感觉其实是很可怕的， 就好像一开始你浮在水面，然后慢慢地呼出空气，身体慢慢地沉浸在水中。。一直往下沉，往下沉。。气泡一直往你的鼻孔冒出，身体开始缺氧，但你却没意识地想挣扎。眼前的四周开始变成模糊，你只想就这样永远地失去知觉。。。

尝试过自己一个人生活的人，很多时候都会选择沉淀自己，不想面对现实，不敢盼望未来。。只想苟且地渡过每一天。。

如果你不在，我想我会沉淀一段很悠长的时间。。。我真的明白很多单身中年的孤独，没人关心，没人在乎他们的存在，没有惊喜，没有喜怒无常。。我也明白乏味的人生是怎样的一个人生。。平淡无奇，行尸走肉。。

把沉淀的心情记下，是想让我清楚地记住，我有多么的需要你。。

Grace

As i came across the word of 'Grace', it's quite hard to understand it unless we take in practice.

I believe Grace comes from our faith to God. If we believe in Him, we believe Go's grace is upon us.

Grace is God's unmerited favor. It is kindness from God we don't deserve. There is nothing we have done, nor we can ever do to earn this favor. God's grace is not a license to sin. It's a gift from God.Grace is divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration (rebirth) or sanctification; a virtue coming from God; a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine favor.

A preacher once explained grace to me with this acronym:

God's

Riches

At

Christ's

Expense

I remember that my aunt shared to me her working life. She conclude it with: If we honour God in our life, God will definitely honour us back in our life. We need alot of grace in our life especially dealing things with people.

I can always see God's grace is upon mummy. Many times, whenever she met difficulties or whenever she came to a bottle neck, she prayed, and God granted her a new road. Just like when she walk into police station to lodge a report (wira car accident), God's grace upon her by letting the police being friendly and helpful to her. Even the person whom he always goes to police station to help customer dealing things, he was surprise that the police act in that way. Mummy shared, and she always say: if we treat people friendly, people will treat us friendly too. She was thankful that God's mercy is on her. But through this case, i can see not only she was friendly, God's mercy is on her, but also God's grace is on her.

Many things are beyond our control. And many times, things does not work out with our hardwoking, knowledge, skills,relationship, authority, money and etc. It is important to have the mentioned things in life. But for things beyond our control, somehow it will not work even we have tried our best. Still, God's grace is needed. Having faith on God trusting and praying that God's grace is upon us to walk through our daily life.

Seeking Balance

Is hard to strike balance between own interest and partner's interest, on the matter of relationship. Therefore, communication has to be built as conduit to convey personal interest to evade conflicts. The common term which corporation used "conflicts of interest", has the best practice to avoid - to make self-declaration if there is any pursuit of personal interest that evoke conflicts with the company.

Communication does not mean to give instruction, for partner to comply but to achieve common understanding that both parties acquiesced. Tolerance get involved when any party find unfairness rose during communication process so as there is give and take. Raising an issue to discuss was not intending to be forceful but on the ground to gain consent, collaboration and support.

Keeping silence will exacerbate the conflicts if communication was trying to establish, and being defensive will never make good things happen. Speak up for yourself, so that your partner understand. Else, conflicts of interest will be on show again and again, which eventually erode relationship.

Invest in a relationship needs tonnes of courage, so do speak for your own interest. Recognizing flaws in a relationship and communicate for the betterment of it, should be the constant that leads to a fruitful and happy relationship... and... that is why I spent time to talk to you...

[ps: Before writing these, negative thoughts keep on parading my mind, when the communication was screwed up early this afternoon. Till I wrote this, I felt much better as recognizing flaws is a milestone of managing relationship.]

My tiring working day

A diary of my day~

A day which i felt i'm really tired while i'm working. Many times, if i felt boring or tired when i'm working, i will have my colleagues to talk to, helping me to have a relax moment. But today is the first day which i really keep an eye on my watch. Tik Tok Tik Tok, waiting every seconds to passby. 

Lunch time. This is my first time eating with my lady boss. Chat with her along the way, and i found out she is actually not that hard to mix with compare to what i always have her in mind. For me, she is the type that you really need to know her and understand her style, then you won't get irritated by her movements or speech. A mother of a 3 years old son, sharing her life to me. Not only her life, but also sharing her self that would never came across my mind of her. 

I always know that people who gives you an impression of herself, it may be different if you come closer to understand a person. Indeed, i have some change of view on my boss. It would always be a lesson to learn for life for understanding people and to communicate with people. I think it's an important lesson to learn in life. I would much appreciate frank sharing from friends usually, like my boss. This is because i can understand them more easily rather than guessing here and there. It's tiring for such a not sensitive me. I really need to learn to be sensitive in order to speed me up in communication progress in life with people. Gambateh xuan! :D

Thinking of you... Wondering how are you on the basketball court? Hoping to see you playing one day. I think It's somehow a sweet moment to see my own lover enjoying happily playing on the court with friends~ :D

Rat race!!

As soon as my exam over, I heave a sigh of relief, finally. This is a long absence period which I've missed few years back when I was preparing for my SPM. Being a highly motivated and discipline scholar, I spent every minutes trying to understand theories and memorize facts, equipping myself with winning cards that guarantee me good grades.

Giving myself a day off, I choose to carry on with my reading habits, which I nurtured when embarking my voyage of MBA. Reading "Rich Dad Poor Dad" sparked streaming of thoughts that overflown my mind. "Rat race", quoted from the book, is a boundless race where there is no finishline. People are working hard, hoping for an increase on their monthly paycheck, or promotion, so that they can spend more. When they have eventually being rewarded for a higher pay, their expenses also increase, as to match their lifestyle with a new status. Chasing for more money, is like a donkey chasing for the carrots in front of its nose, dangled by its owner, the boss.

Would you like to be the owner, or the donkey? Truly, I am hoping to be the owner. Learning to let money generating money before spending it, is not easy and is never too late. Yet, the fundamental is, you have to start saving. That's the only way out of the rat race..

Celebrity look alikes

Celebrity look- alikes

I'm A Christian by May Angelou

It's a moment that i think defibrillation is need for this blog.

As i read blogs through while i'm enjoying my good time of internet connectivity at cafe, i found that this passage is really a good passage and so that i'm sharing here.

A christian, I am. I'm thankful that i was grown up in a christian family since i'm born. As years goes by, i've met alot people that are different from me. I try to understand and try to be an extraordinary christian which i wont force people to believe what i believe, because i found that people starts to hate christians mainly because of this. For the people that have curiousity on me that why i believe in Christ, i try to explain in a simple way and not to explain much. Because as i know, it's hard to explain spritual things unless you believe and ready to understand. 

What is Chrstianity? How different is it? As for me, i would only said that, if only you ready to accept, believe, include God, christianity will come alive in to you. You will experience it the God of creator by your own self. If not, you are just to believe like others do and feel no difference.

Many questions might be very tricky for christians, i would say. Even sometimes i really wonder lots of questions. Although these questions are really a curiousity to me, but bible says that : believe in HIM like the childlike heart. It will be difficult especially for adult. But, I was born in a christianity family, and i know somehow waiting to see God's picture is better than to ask people lots of unanswered, and tricky questions. God will let us review it by ourselves if only we have faith on HIM.

I'm A Christian by May Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian" 
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin'." 
I'm whispering "I was lost, 
Now I'm found and forgiven." 

When I say... "I am a Christian" 
I don't speak of this with pride. 
I'm confessing that I stumble 
and need Christ to be my guide. 

When I say... "I am a Christian" 
I'm not trying to be strong. 
I'm professing that I'm weak 
And need His strength to carry on.. 

When I say... "I am a Christian" 
I'm not bragging of success. 
I'm admitting I have failed 
And need God to clean my mess. 

When I say... "I am a Christian" 
I'm not claiming to be perfect, 
My flaws are far too visible 
But, God believes I am worth it. 

When I say.... "I am a Christian" 
I still feel the sting of pain. 
I have my share of heartaches 
So I call upon His name. 

When I say.... "I am a Christian" 
I'm not holier than thou, 
I'm just a simple sinner who received God's grace, somehow!
Who received God's good grace, somehow!

新的一天

我们就好像在水瓶里的水一样，有时候会很平静，有时候会沉淀，有时候瓶盖会不经意的打开，有时候会被摇得很乱，有时候。。。

最近瓶子里起了大风浪。平静了几天，终于看到日出。而今天，水瓶里的水很开心。对我来说，这一天是一个惊喜。很久没有这种感觉了！我喜欢一起乘搭船的时候，一起有小小的期待，一起唉热的时候，一起被太阳猛晒，一起感受当地人的生活，一起享受美味的海鲜，一起骑脚车，一起笑，一起累，一起经历的事情。。。

享受美味的午餐，真的超有满足感！点我喜欢的‘漏尿虾’，‘Q的鱼圆’，菜和‘美型螃蟹’，很赞呢！跟螃蟹的搏斗，还是谢谢你为我打胜它，让我享有战后的收获！=）一起骑脚车，是我第一次。除了爸和弟之外，你是第一个载着超重的我！幸苦了！在后面的我，真的很开心，但是也还蛮紧张。因为路很狭窄，加上超重量的货物，使到司机的技术受影响。哈哈。。

这一天，是我很开心，难忘，享受，有惊喜的一天。 谢谢你！

我希望我们会有更多的开心天！

Mean word stirs up anger

A word of my dad had strongly make me think deeper about who am I?  what i should learn? 

I was sharing on some issues in the car. In my conversation, i shared that one of my friend react out of anger which i think it was quite a surprise after the other friend said something to her. 

Later on, dad just reminded me and analyze to me about ACCUSATION. When i start to ask why was my friend reacted so abnormally, my dad answered me. People hate being accussed. Sometimes, we may just accussed people when we started our conversation which we might not know. 

A start of conversation by a mean word would just easily stirs up our temper. This is happening among all people just that the percentage is high or low. A daughter of a caring mother was on a project in her company and her turned on silent mode for the whole day. Her mother called from morning to evening just with a good intention of asking whether is she coming back home for a dinner.  She didn't get to aware of her phone while she were busying until she have her evening break. When she look at her phone, she has 15 missed call. 10 were her mother's missed calls and others were friends. She then called back to her mother. When the phone got reached, her mother began with: Halo! How come I called you for so many times you didn't pick up your phone? Where have you been? Don't you know that i've been calling you for the whole day? What for are you having a cell phone? The daughter replied: What is happening?Don't you know that i'm working? I've been busying with my work whole day and so i silent my phone. Why are you calling? 

Slowly, their conversation become a defensive conversation because of an accusing start. An accusing start may be react by temper. Because accusing words stirs up one's temper. Actually, her mother was right, and she was right. But when her mother have a start like this, it will cause her daughter to defense automatically.

And as i saw a post on '10 special things about you', I'm thankful that I can read the two special  things.To make an example, the sentence:' ...... as even I am writing more, you may have the propensity to forget.' This sentence has the content of accusation. Not bringing up this to accuse sean, but just to show an example of it.

Many times, i may just react like the mother or the daughter to accuse or to defense. Somehow, i think i would like to learn that an accusation start will make things worst. This might need alot of time man!! Haha...anyhow, i'm thankful that i was highlighted on this. 

Phoniness

Sophia always says I settled for phony smiles in front of camera, where is my real smile? Before I get to know her closely, I seldom took photos and therefore I don really realize that I don't know how to smile when people says "cheeessee". My smile is so vain, as people can notice from the photographs. Truly, I believe a real smile expresses from the heart, and not from the lips.

-------------------------

When the relationship started, we took a lot of photos and she said I looked great when I smile. It has a become a practice to me as we took tens of hundreds of photos, and learning to smile before camera make your smile looks more genuine in other people's eyes. So as worship to God. When you have learnt ways to worship God, even you are not truly in emotion or ready to celebrate, people can't easily notice you. But phoniness before God is unacceptable.

-------------------------

I am learning to be honest to myself, friends, loves one and God each and everyday. Inherently, I am good in hiding my emotions and people always labelled me as "great pretender", 'hypocrite" or "actor of the year". Realizing that keep on hiding myself will lost myself eventually, I want to be truthful, to express the real me and to allow people understand me....

God is sufficient for any situation

Peering through the fog of doubtfulness, I finally see the way out of it. God is sufficient for any situation, and I finally understand what do we mean by "God is faithful". It means God is committed to love you, taking care of you until the very end and His love is never fails. He loves us more than we do and he shows his consistency in loving us, the faithfulness.

I wish I can love Him more day by day, sing praises to Him and I want to serve Him. Each and everyday I pray to get closer to Him, physically get closer to the house of God, start with moving down to KL. I experienced the abundance of life before, when I included my God in my daily life. This is the long absense happiness and joyfulness that I've been missed. Now I am hunger for a change, a reconciliation of getting back to His track as I know He is waiting for me at the end of the journey. Nope, He will be accompanying me towards the eternity if I am willing to open my arms.

I confess all the sins that I have committed when I derailed, and I hope God will pardon me and cleanse away my sin with His precious blood. Forgive me Lord, my father. Keep on eye on me so that I do not do things that you dislike. Make me humble before you as I want to worship you with all my heart. Revive me, when I surrender myself before the almighty God.

I realized the period of depression won't last long, as God will help me through. With patience, I am expecting the change in me.

10 special things about you

I attempted to frame only 10 special things about you, as even I am writing more, you may have the propensity to forget. (I sms you before 24 or 25 reasons for loving you, but I think it's been embedded in your phone for so long until it is getting faded, rite??)

-------------------------------

1. Woman of perseverance

Every time when I think of you, I give thanks to my God as you are a woman who persevered for love. Your love engenders courage, support, edification, encouragement and comfort in me as you believe God first love you. I see the endurance that you pursue, the overflowing love that fuels my life and the conviction that love will never fail. Your perseverance for love has changed my definition on relationship and the bond between human.

--------------------------------

2. Woman of understanding

At young age, you have the maturity of a full-grown adult. Putting yourself into other peoples' shoe, you are always understanding, considerate and helpful. Though you may not very sensitive of other's feeling, you leave a room for them to express. To be understanding is a lifetime process, as humanology is the hardest subject ever studied. Listen whole-heartedly and observe curiously, that is the crux.

--------------------------------

3. Woman that lift your self-esteem

I came across a question on the other day: "What is the greatest achievement that you ever had in your life?" I stunned and really cracked my head into it.. Couldn't get an asnwer until today, I asked the same question to Tony. He said he had tonnes of achievements which he presumed to be great and the greatest. Every success is a milestone. His answer triggered my thought. Now I can confidently allege that my greatest achievement is having Sophia as my loves one. She is the kind of girl that makes you feel that you have achieved something great when you have her and the experience is awesome. Uplifted my self-esteem, I became a better being today..

Have A nice day!

Today just when i woke up, i felt good to have Good morning wishes. It has been long time ago i didnt receive messages from friends for wishes. I always greet people good morning, all the best for work, have a great day, for when i'm single. I really spent time to care for my friends. Eveything changes, and i found out someone had shifted my attention. Indeed, it is good because he is playing a more important role in my life. I tried to care, to think and to miss him whenever i can.  For a start, i tried to include him in my life; but as time pass by, the feeling is just there always. 

Sometimes i can't feel it, but whenever i walk alone, drive alone, the feeling strongly reminds me about him. What i could say is, i've included him in my life. I cant feel the effect of him in me sometimes just like i cant feel the effect of oxigen i have everyday, but by running, or i'm gasping for air, i know the effect of oxigen in me is impactful; just like what i felt strongly on him. 

Today, a tuesday of april 2009, and it's our day being together for 250days. Sms him to greet him a good morning eventhough he was sleeping or busying.  

I wish that i will be the first one to greet him a good morning everyday, and wishes him to have a nice everyday. Eventhough another day may not be an another excitement for him, but i hope a positive wishes will make him remember that all things are good even a dark cloud has a silver lining. 

All things are possible with HIM. Try and learn to include God in life, and things will have the other perspective rather than just a 2D picture of us seeing it. Have a nice day!  

Know me more, and remember by heart

001. Real Name : Lim Kheng Soon
002. Nickname(s): Sean
003 Age : 27 every year
004. Horoscope : Cancer
005. Male or Female : Male
006. Elementary : Not familiar to genius
007. Middle School : SRJKC Chung Hwa
008. High School : SMJK Chung Hwa
009. College School : National University of Malaysia
010. Hair colour : Black
011. Long or Short : Short
012. Loud or Quiet : Loud among men and quiet among women
013. Sweats or Jeans : Jeans
014. Phone or Camera : Phone
015. Health Freak : I forgot what white bread tastes like
016. Drink or Smoke : drink occasionally
017. Do you have a crush on someone : Yes
018. Eat or Drink : both
K019. Piercings : Nope
020. Tattoos : Thought of but step back when knew that is painful
021. Social or Anti-Social : Social
022. Righty or lefty : Righty
023. First piercing : Never
024. First relationship : age of 22
025. First Best Friend : William
026. First Award : Forgotten
027. First Kiss : age of 22
028. First Pet : Never owns pet
029. First Big Vacation : Cambodia
030. First Love at first sight : Standard 4
031. First Big Birthday : Couldn't remember
032. First Surgery : Form 2
033. First sport you joined : Table tennis
034. Orange or Apple juice : Orange juice
035. Rock or Rap : Rap
036. Country or Screamo : Country
037. NSYNC or Backstreet boys : Backstreet boys
038. Britney spears or Christina Aguilera : Britney spears
039. Night or Day : Night
040. Sun or Moon : Moon
041. TV or Internet : Internet
042. Playstation or xbox : Not familiar
043. Kiss or hug : Both
044. Iguana or turtle : Turtle
045. Spider or bee : Bee
046. Fall or spring : Fall
047. Limewire or iTunes : iTunes
048. Soccer or baseball : Soccer
049. watching nba game : Nope
050. Drinking : Coffee
051. Excitement level : 2/10
052. I’m about to : have my breakfast
053. Listening to : Mix FM
054. Plan for today : assignment
055. Waiting for : opportunities
056. Energy Level : 6/10
057. Thinking of someone : Always

Future dreams
058. Want kids? : Yes
059. Want to get married? : Depends on her
060. When? : Max 32
061. How many kids do you want : 2
062. Any name on the mind : Yu Hang (son)
063. What did you want to be when you were little : Doctor
064. Careers in mind : Consultant
065. Mellow future or wild : Mellow
066. Something you would never try : Drugs
067. When do you want to die : 70

Which is the better in the boy/girl you like (in the future)
068. Lips or Eyes : Eyes
069. Romantic or Funny? : Both
070. Shorter or Taller? : Shorter
071. Protective or Caring? : Caring
072. Romantic or Spontaneous? : Spontaneous
073. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms? : Nice legs
074. Sensitive or Loud? : sensitive
075. Hook-up or Relationship? : Relationship
076. Trouble Maker or Hesitant? : Hopefully not
077. Muscular or normal : Normal

Have you ever
078. Kissed a stranger : Kissed a new found friend
079. Broken a bone : Yes, shoulder bone
080. Lost glasses or contacts : I take good care
081. Ran away from home : Yes
082. Held a gun/knife for self defence : Nope
083. Killed somebody : Never
084. Broken some one’s heart : Yes
085. Had your heart broken : Yup
086. Been arrested : Not worth it
087. Cried when someone died : Yes
088. Liked a friend more than a friend : Ya, sometimes

Do you believe in
089. Yourself : Too much
090. Miracles : Yes
091. Love at first sight : Yes
092. Heaven : Yes
093. Santa Claus : Nope
094. Tooth Fairy : Nope
095. Kiss in the first date : Yup
096. Angels : Yes
097. Is there 1 person you want to be with right now? : Yup
098. Are you seriously happy with where you’re in life now? : 70/100
099. Do you believe in God? : Yes
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people

xuan's 100 truths

Please re- edit the details yea! :D

001. Real Name : HO XUAN HUI
002. Nickname(s): XUAN, SOPHIA
003 Age : :)
004. Horoscope : -
005. Male or Female : Female
006. Elementary : WESLEY Kindergarten
007. Middle School : S.J.K (c) UNION, JALAN DAVIDSON
008. High School : SMK CONFUCIAN
009. College School : SEGI University College
010. Hair colour : Black
011. Long or Short : Long
012. Loud or Quiet : depends on my mood
013. Sweats or Jeans : Jeans
014. Phone or Camera : Both
015. Health Freak : X
016. Drink or Smoke : X
017. Do you have a crush on someone : O
018. Eat or Drink : Eat & DRINK
019. Piercings : O
020. Tattoos : X
021. Social or Anti-Social : Social
022. Righty or lefty : Righty
023. First piercing : standard 2
024. First relationship : O
025. First Best Friend : YEOH CHIEN WEI 
026. First Award : primary school std 3 best academy awrd
027. First Kiss : O
028. First Pet : Hamster
029. First Big Vacation : China
030. First Love at first sight : Not sure
031. First Big Birthday : Std 6
032. First Surgery : X
033. First sport you joined : badminton


This or That
034. Orange or Apple juice : Orange juice
035. Rock or Rap : Rap 
036. Country or Screamo : Country
037. NSYNC or Backstreet boys : X
038. Britney spears or Christina Aguilera : X
039. Night or Day : Night
040. Sun or Moon : Sun
041. TV or Internet : Internet 
042. Playstation or xbox : X
043. Kiss or hug : Hug
044. Iguana or turtle : Turtle
045. Spider or bee : X
046. Fall or spring : Both
047. Limewire or iTunes : X
048. Soccer or baseball : X

Currently
049. watching nba game : X
050. Drinking : water
051. Excitement level : 3/10.
052. I’m about to : have my lunch
053. Listening to : drilling sound from neighbourhood
054. Plan for today : cari kawan at night
055. Waiting for : time to pass
056. Energy Level : 7/10
057. Thinking of someone : O

Future dreams
058. Want kids? : O
059. Want to get married? : O
060. When? : 24
061. How many kids do you want : 2
062. Any name on the mind : X
063. What did you want to be when you were little : Doctor
064. Careers in mind : not sure
065. Mellow future or wild : Mellow
066. Something you would never try : commit suicide
067. When do you want to die : Not so soon

Which is the better in the boy/girl you like (in the future)
068. Lips or Eyes : Eyes
069. Romantic or Funny? : Both
070. Shorter or Taller? : Taller 
071. Protective or Caring? : Both
072. Romantic or Spontaneous? : Romantic
073. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms? : doesn't matter
074. Sensitive or Loud? : both
075. Hook-up or Relationship? : Relationship
076. Trouble Maker or Hesitant? : X
077. Muscular or normal : Normal

Have you ever
078. Kissed a stranger : X
079. Broken a bone : X
080. Lost glasses or contacts : O
081. Ran away from home : X
082. Held a gun/knife for self defence : X
083. Killed somebody : X
084. Broken some one’s heart : O
085. Had your heart broken : O
086. Been arrested : X
087. Cried when someone died : O
088. Liked a friend more than a friend : O

Do you believe in
089. Yourself : Sometimes
090. Miracles : O
091. Love at first sight : O
092. Heaven : O
093. Santa Claus : X
094. Tooth Fairy : X
095. Kiss in the first date : O
096. Angels : O
097. Is there 1 person you want to be with right now? : O
098. Are you seriously happy with where you’re in life now? : 88/100
099. Do you believe in God? : O
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people

Wisdom of the bible

Sometimes people might have doubts that the Holy Bible, being the most selling book in the world, was merely the collective wisdom of mankind. The book is so flawless written, conceived the wisdom beyond the human realm of thoughts; depicted over hundreds of, if not thousands of story that give different lessons to different people when they read it, was merely the coincidence of the intelligience of the intelligent.

I read one verse today which gave me a new version of understanding Bible. "For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength". (1 Corinthians 1:25). To be continued...

爱不简单

记得有人告诉我：要喜欢上一个人不难。

想了很久，我赞同他所说的。很多时候，我们会很容易被美女或帅哥而吸引，然后很想和他有一种特别的近距离的关系。但是，也很常当梦想成真后，是恶梦的开始。为什么？

而一个对爱情没什么经验的我认为要喜欢上一个人不难，因为只要喜欢上他的优点就行了。当初，也是因为他的优点，而吸引到我们的。爱，不简单。要彼此相爱更不简单了。第一，因为我们很难找到一个真心爱你而你也会真心爱他的人。第二，因为爱的范围比起喜欢的范围增加的无数倍。

当爱上一个人，我们会爱上我们当初所被吸引优点，我们也会开始爱了解他。在了解的过程中，我们也慢慢学会原来爱一个人，我们也要以忍耐来接纳他的缺点。在经历狂风暴雨时，爱一个人更要在任何环境比任何人更爱他，扶持他。无论自己有多疲累，当为了保护，扶持，让对方感觉到安全感和肯定，我们都忘了我们自己的疲累。

很多时候，成为情侣或夫妻争吵的几率是比成为好朋友，‘死党’多得很。这是很矛盾的情况，但是很多时候是因为我们的另一半成为我们近距离的镜子。人有丑陋的一面，所以可说这片镜子是我们丑陋的镜子，所以当丑陋的部分被照到时，我们会生气，隐藏或是更近距离的照我们自己的丑陋。

但是，很奇怪的是，我们却常常照了这片镜子，我们会越来越爱上它。虽然我们会有争执，但是当久没有照这片镜子时，我们会想念。因为我们知道虽然这片镜子可照出我们的丑陋，但是我们的样子永远都会被这片镜子的爱而接纳，也因为被接纳而爱。当我们有修改我们的弱点时，这片镜子照出的是我们修补过的或改善的赞赏！

爱一个人不容易；更何况彼此相爱是不简单的。但是我相信若神成为我们彼此的爱，那。。接纳（爱）一个人的接受度不会比自己肉眼，感觉和脑袋来的难。

Difference between man and woman

A girl recently told me that: when a woman talks, what a man has to do is lending his pair of ears, paying attention and not necessary has to understand the content. I agreed on that, as women are desirous on getting men attention. And if a man is paying attention, it shows the man loves the woman. Difference between man and woman on this context is woman needs love and attention from man more than his understanding and consent. But to a man, he wants woman to understand him more than anything. (I think all guys out there will agree with me on this...) therefore, to all the men, love your woman and show your cares and attention. Don't ever dream of understanding a woman, as you will never do. To all the women, the only effective way to love your man is trying to understand them in all they do and support them in all ways. Hope this helps in managing a good relationship between man and woman.

习惯

上这堂课是我还蛮享受的。虽然有点累，但是是值得的。因为它刺激我要思考，然后思考上帝的话语怎样可以在我们的生活中显出。这是一堂有意义，有很大的得着的一堂课。因为他会使你参与，和要参与！让我分享我上课的得着和笔记！

有关课题：心态

人的心态是思考的习惯。

什么是习惯？ 习惯是不被注意的行为，思想，举动。

例如：请问你刷牙时是从左边开始刷起，或是右边开始刷？；当你穿裤时，是先穿左脚后右脚或是右脚后左脚？着一些是我们很难回答的问题，因为已经成为我们的习惯。

人若没有刻意地培养一个好习惯，是负面习惯的开始。

例如：

人若不培养刷牙的习惯，他会开始不刷牙。

当人不培养储蓄钱的习惯，他也不会要储蓄。

人不培养文雅的交谈，他会开始粗俗的交谈。

习惯很难被改，但是可以被其他东西取代。我们当建立一个好习惯/心态来代替旧的习惯。

若一个人生气时，坏习惯为-抽烟可让他冷静，他应当建立一个好习惯来代替抽烟的习惯。这才可说是实际的方法。而习惯的改良也当然需要籍着上帝的力量来改变他而不止建立一个好习惯来代替坏习惯。

习惯也表露出我们人的自我中心心态。 

很多时候我们对一些人或事情习惯给予评价为：满足得到我的，是好的；满足不到我的是不好的。可见一些人经常换谈恋爱对象。问题的出现也被说为他有什么不好，我们适应不来等。。很多时候，也许我们忘了考察我们自己的自我中心心态出现了问题。当我们认为对方应该要满足我某方面的要求，而对方做不到时，我们会开始指向对方的问题出现。因为我们有强烈的自我中心，而对方给你的感觉是-YOU FAIL ME.

很多时候我们忽略了是否问题出现于我的自我中心心态太强了？

我们当培养正确的心态，正面的观念。在发生每一样事情时，都应该想想有正面的回应。因为人的心态是思考的习惯！

而我呢。。。真的还在学习着。

上了这一课，真的让我会有想要改变负面的心态。会尝试想想应该改变的东西，然后采取行动！

灵命Senior

很谢谢你仔细地为我解答这几个我存有疑惑的问题。每个人在信仰的得着都不一样， 但我相信回到圣经的教导准没错。。你在灵命的成长比较senior, 以后可以多请教你。。

上帝在我们身上有他的计划

1.当一个基督徒诚心恳切地求一件事情时，受试炼的机会会提高吗？

2.神可以籍着人的祈求来考验人的信心吗？

3.当所求的不被应许，人还会相信神吗？

 

1. 身为基督徒当知道一切是在于上帝的计划里。当人诚心求一件事情时，他会不断追求上帝的话语。当人与神亲近时，恶者都会尝试把人跟神分开。所以当再求一件事情时，试炼也会提高。很多时候，当一个人面对试炼时，试探也会同时出现。

          就如当一个人为了考更好的成绩，他不断的努力读书。同学们看见了便告诉他说读书那么幸苦，也不是为了考试。同学们经常在考试时作弊，也未曾被老师发现而考取好成绩。这时，这位同学的试炼受摇动，他也在下个学期的考试不读书，选择了作弊。这就是试炼中的试探。我们应该靠着神的恩典和能力胜过试探。当我们可以在试炼过关时，我们会在属灵上，个人道德上被提高一层。

2. 神可以籍着人的祈求来考验人的信心。圣经里所有的是亚伯拉罕的信心。

上帝对亚伯拉罕的承诺是把亚伯拉罕一家成为很大的下一代。上帝说以撒会成为下一代的父亲。亚伯拉罕相信上帝会守承诺。然而，上帝却吩咐亚伯拉罕烧以撒成为给上帝的献祭。身为爸爸，亚伯拉罕不想失去以撒。但是，他却对上帝有信心也对上帝的承诺有信心。最后，以撒没有死，然而这是上帝对亚伯拉罕信心的考验。

3. 当所求的不被应许，人还会相信神吗？

在这件事情上，我们若因着所求的不被应许，而选择不相信神，这就可看见我们与神的关系是存着利用的关系。人会因为而选择不相信上帝因为上帝已经没有利用价值了。 当我们利用上帝来为我们达成我们所想得到的东西，而不被满足时，我们开始怀疑上帝有听我的祷告吗？或我们会开始选择不相信上帝。 当人寻求上帝的心是存着利用的关系时，其实他相信上帝跟相信别的宗教信仰是没什么分别。很常，人会以拜偶像的心态来敬拜上帝；这其实是一个代替而已。若因为他不应许我的祈求，我们选择不信上帝时，这可见我们在选上帝。

              身为基督徒，我们可能忘了最基本的原理，那是‘上帝拣选我们每一个人’，‘上帝在我们身上有他的计划’。

当上帝不应许我们的祈求时，我们也许会不知道上帝的计划是什么。我们祈求，因为我们觉得它对我们有好处。但是，这些都是在于我们的角度所看到的。当上帝不应许一些东西时，他一定有他的计划。他是所可以看到完整的过程和结果比起我们只可以预算将来对我们的好处。

我们当常常记着上帝是无所不在，祂时时刻刻都在你心中。

当我们为事情上的祈求，我们可以这样祷告：‘愿神的旨意行在地上如同行在天上’

 

Self-confidence, a relative relationship...

To determine whether a person is either self-confident or arrogant, his confidence level has to be compared relatively with the person or a group of people whom he demonstrates. Consider an analogy, a red spot on white paper is so obvious compare to a red spot on a black paper. I can conclude that, the clarity of the red spot is depends on the relative color surrounded it.

To give an easier understanding, if Mr A has a higher education level compared to Mr B, Mr A will tend to get too big for his boots (over-confident) in front of Mr B. Conversely, Mr A will have less confidence in front of Mr B. This obvious corollary implies a relative relationship in between individuals based on their education background, age, family status, authority level, positions and so forth. If you are "too good" in front of those who are "not that good", be considerate and do not let them feel inferior. Otherwise, be humble when you felt you are relatively "not that good". You still can be proud of yourself, but that doesn't mean that you have to talk more... (Most often, people usually talk or express more to show that they are self-confident, rite??!!)

PS: The idea of having confidence on breakfast, water and sleeping is so new to me, good point..

Confidence

When we mention on confidence, many people may very directly reflect first to their self-confidence, then to their confidence on other things or person. Confidence is a trust or faith in a person or thing. I remember that i was reminded by my dad on confidence. Actually, in our daily life, we practise lots and lots of lessons on confidence.

The moment we wake up, we are having confidence on lots of things, such as having breakfast without doubting it is poison or not; Going for a bath without guessing the water is clean or not; sleeping on our bed every night without worrying on the stability of the bed. All these we practise our confidence daily.

Confidence can just develope through our past experience, decisions we made daily, etc. Thus, the basic self-confidence is needed to every person, but not over-confidence as the attitude of arrogance may easily let you fall in ways. It is a good reminder for us that we must have confidence on ourselves, at the same time we practice the attitude to humble ourselves.

Many times, i have confidence on myself. For sometimes, when i sat down and flash back on my actions or words, it may contain over-confidence or arrogance for the situation. Through these situations, i try to learn to be humble yet confidence whenever i talk or carry myself. May God change me and remind me whenever i'm going to act in that way.

Through cases, i know that i'm quite difficult to trust or to have confidence on people. But, for the people that i'm close with, i would have confidence on them on certain things that i think they might be very good in it. As for my partner, i have confidence on him from many aspects. One of it is his perseverance. His persistent determination is really what i admire. I know if he would catch up on something, he would not easily let it off; he would have the determination to strive for it. This is a good thing to learn. Ofcourse, by going all out, we must also learn to hand it in God's hand and trust Him.

Have confidence in God, practise our faith, and i'm sure God will bless us in His way

Lesson of faith

Still remember one of my favourite song in MIF ~"Little by little everyday, little by little everyway, My Jesus is changing me.." Learning the lesson of faith in God also as such, little by little, step by step. I often thought, if I humbly invite God once again to recapture my heart as His rightful throne, or earnestly pray for few days, if not go for a 3 days gospel camp, my life would change through a giant leap of faith. I was wrong as attending the class of "faith building" (sound like "team building" huh..) is not a block module or intensive lecture which you can graduate overnight. This is a lesson of life, and experiencing God in His way through devotion and chewing the words of God is daily "to do" thing, in order to draw one step closer to Him.. Every step counts..

Steering the hardship...

Ever since I took up MBA, I never had a day where i can flee from my tight learning schedules. In part beacuse of the 2 night classes per week, and in part because of my own daily routine of studying course materials and reading financial news. Sigh... I have to undergo a two-years tough period just like old days when I prepared for my SPM. In the interim, I am desperately in need of love and support to fuel my journey. Thanks to your unwavering love and cares, I can steer the hardship with hope and courage. This resembles a journey of life. Finding a life's partner that could support you along the way is who that we are looking for. I feel blissful as I have found mine. Certainly, I think this blog will always overflown with tenderness and my affection for you. (I couldn't believe I can be that sentimental at 5am early in the morning huh...)

A nice name!

I know you can have all the creativity and passion to give the blog a nice name and I believe, this is a place where sharing comes as the first order of the day. No matter this is an opened or closed blogspot, hopefully we can feel free to write anything. About us, about hope, ambition, spiritual gain, life value, moral lesson, or coffee talk... Have a grand opening of the blog with a little prayer: Lord, this blog is created to share about life, about wonderful experience, not just with Sophia alone, but with You. Hope this is a good conduit to speak up freely without echo (only talking to yourself will have echoes, haha..) and to exchange thoughts and inspirations. Amen.

Moments to share

As for the first post, i think this is a precious corner for S&S contributors to share. Sharing about their lifes, experiences, perspectives, and every moments of theirs.

The time to spare in this precious corner, to have the moments to share.